Blood Bowl, for the uninitiated, is Fantasy Football. No, REAL Fantasy Football. As in, Football with Orcs and Elves and Trolls beating each other until their intestines fall out, and then occasionally picking up a spiky football and scoring with it. If you're not thinking "Football and Orcs and Elves and Trolls? Why didn't I think of that?", you have no soul and should seriously consider the idea that yours is the unexamined life Socrates was talking about.
Why? Because FUCK YES, that's why.Blood Bowl began life as a boardgame, made by Games Workshop, the fantasy miniatures/wargames company that's best known for making games with awesome fluff and crappy mechanics that get 13-year-old boys to buy way too many pewter miniatures.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my own sublimated sexuality. Also, my shoulder pads block my ears.
Blood Bowl is, without a doubt, the best game Games Workshop ever designed. Awesome idea, simple, elegant mechanics, damn near bottomless replay value, and even at it's height you didn't have to drop $500 on miniatures to assure yourself a slim chance of not get your ass handed to you. The PC version is all that wrapped up in a very pretty, only slightly clunky package that lets you play game after game after game. I have not had this addictive a gaming experience since Civilization. Yes, it's THAT good. Go buy it now. You can read about why when you get back.
Look at this picture closely. If, after having examined it at length, you still haven't bought the game, congratulations! You're a replicant.Blood Bowl is the Best Damned Game Ever for the following reasons:
1) Summoning, easily gettable premise. "Football with Orcs" is just about the easiest pitch meeting anyone will ever have.
2) Constant, impactful choices during your turn. The game is like chess in that every single move is valuable, and there is not a piece you can move (or not move) that will not have some impact on the gamespace.
3) Constant, impactful choices by your opponent during their turn. Likewise, everything your opponent does during their turn has a profound impact on the state of the game, and may in fact kill one of your players. There's no time you can safely tune out.
4) Randomness that adds to dramatic tension, rather than taking away from it. I used to hate the randomness in Blood Bowl. Any given move, pretty much, you can roll two ones, and your fastest, awesomest player falls flat on his face, and your turn is over, and then you can roll two sixes, and he dies. POOF! You can never eliminate the threat that something can go horribly, horribly wrong... but you can manage it, which is what makes the game fun rather than frustrating. There is always risk, which is inherently dramatic, but there are ways to mitigate those risks, which is what makes it an exercise in strategic thinking rather than a game of War.
5) Relentless forwarding action. Each move sets up the next. Each tackle opens up a hole to run through. Each injury sets up the desire for revenge. And after each game, the skills your player gets make you want to play another game to see how well they do with their new shiny-pretty, which in turn gets them more skills, which in turn makes you want to play more. It's the leveling reward feedback loop WITH SIXTEEN DIFFERENT CHARACTERS AT ONCE.
6) Your Rat-men can grow extra heads and tentacles. Which I really think is what's held Monopoly back all these years.
Buy it. Play it. Love it.
1) Summoning, easily gettable premise. "Football with Orcs" is just about the easiest pitch meeting anyone will ever have.
2) Constant, impactful choices during your turn. The game is like chess in that every single move is valuable, and there is not a piece you can move (or not move) that will not have some impact on the gamespace.
3) Constant, impactful choices by your opponent during their turn. Likewise, everything your opponent does during their turn has a profound impact on the state of the game, and may in fact kill one of your players. There's no time you can safely tune out.
4) Randomness that adds to dramatic tension, rather than taking away from it. I used to hate the randomness in Blood Bowl. Any given move, pretty much, you can roll two ones, and your fastest, awesomest player falls flat on his face, and your turn is over, and then you can roll two sixes, and he dies. POOF! You can never eliminate the threat that something can go horribly, horribly wrong... but you can manage it, which is what makes the game fun rather than frustrating. There is always risk, which is inherently dramatic, but there are ways to mitigate those risks, which is what makes it an exercise in strategic thinking rather than a game of War.
5) Relentless forwarding action. Each move sets up the next. Each tackle opens up a hole to run through. Each injury sets up the desire for revenge. And after each game, the skills your player gets make you want to play another game to see how well they do with their new shiny-pretty, which in turn gets them more skills, which in turn makes you want to play more. It's the leveling reward feedback loop WITH SIXTEEN DIFFERENT CHARACTERS AT ONCE.
6) Your Rat-men can grow extra heads and tentacles. Which I really think is what's held Monopoly back all these years.
Buy it. Play it. Love it.
-- The Prolix Wag
Because I'm still OBVIOUSLY the Luckiest Player in the League.
Because I'm still OBVIOUSLY the Luckiest Player in the League.
Why is football not a PvP Battleground in WoW? We have orcs, and elves and trolls and lizard people and all that cool stuff.
ReplyDeleteBecause WoW isn't a game; it's the world's prettiest chat client.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be getting the PSP version of Blood Bowl. Just seems like the best fit.
ReplyDeleteI still say my wife will kill you for getting me addicted to another game.
ReplyDeleteShe knows where I live.
ReplyDelete