Gang Kiltie

The observation in Laura Miller's review of Margaret MacMillan's "Dangerous Games: The Uses and Abuses of History," on Salon today, that Highland Scottish culture was pretty much made up in the 19th century out of whole (tartan) cloth might seem like something that might upset someone like me. My dad was a piper. I grew up listening to so much bagpipe music that it lulls me to sleep like a baby. I wore a kilt to my Senior Homecoming, my wedding, every Helen Hayes Awards ceremony I've ever been to, and every formal or semiformal occasion I can make up half an excuse to wear it at. I've recited "To a Haggis" at many Burn's Nicht Dinners, and been payed pretty well to do it, too (still available for this year! Book early, book often!). I'm Scots and Proud.

But I've known for a very long time that the whole thing was made up. It's essentially playing pretend. Anyone who wanted to show up at one of my dad's band's rehearsals and learn how to play the World's Finest Outdoor Instrument or even just to wear a kilt could be a part of that culture. Could be Scottish.

This guy is way more Scottish than I'll ever be.

A more general example would be St. Patrick's Day. Anyone who wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day can be Irish. Really and truly. It may seem like a matter of putting on funny clothes and just saying you are something, and that's because it is. But that's exactly what all culture is. Not that we always treat it that way.

We usually treat culture like it's inherited absolutely, like it's burned into your forehead by God when you're born. And we use it to exclude as much as (or more than) include. And we wind up with Rwanda and Sunni v. Shiite and pretty much all of the Balkans.

I think my way is more fun. Plus, there's simply no outfit more flattering to the masculine form than a kilt and a sharp Prince Charlie jacket. And a sporran has all the benefits of a purse with none of the drawbacks. AND women will ask you "Do you wear your kilt in traditional way?" ALL DAMN NIGHT. And they'll want to check. Don't ask me why.

-- The Prolix Wag
I'm not an elitist; you're just a prole.