Mind you, I'm of the opinion that all men turn into assholes, and all women into crazy bitches, as soon as you apply the saliva of the opposite sex topically. But it's kinda six of one, half dozen of another.
I can't speak much to why women like to date assholes, aside from some generalized psychobabbling about wanting to fix them and feel needed and so on. But given my dating history, I think I can speak pretty authoritatively to why men like to date the crazies:
It's the sex, stupid.
Well, not the sex per se, necessarily, but the promise of sex. Kind, sane and stable women can be flip-out Katie-bar-the-door monkey-crazy in bed, but you can't tell by looking at them. Crazy women (no matter how bad they may be in bed in reality) look like they're halfway there already.
"If she's willing to break a bottle over my head in public," we think, "just think of what she'll be willing to do in private."
There are different kinds of crazy chicks, of course.
"I will cry after. Also, during. And a little before. This will both disgust and arouse you."
"I am a serial killer. I could skin, gut and joint you. Instead, I'll just do it emotionally. Also, that means I know how to use ropes."
"I will eat you."
You totally know the stake is there. You know she'll use it on you... someday. In the meantime...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"Now, different strokes for different folks, but if you're a guy, you were turned on by at least three of those, and you've dated at least two. Or one repeatedly. Don't even pretend.
The question remains, of course: how can the sane and stable ladies use this information to their dating advantage?
Simple: remember, it's not about the craziness itself, it's about the promise of crazy sex that goes along with it.
Promise him the crazy sex, either implicitly or explicitly, and you've undercut the crazy-girl advantage.
I suggest explicitly. We're simple creatures.
The question remains, of course: how can the sane and stable ladies use this information to their dating advantage?
Simple: remember, it's not about the craziness itself, it's about the promise of crazy sex that goes along with it.
Promise him the crazy sex, either implicitly or explicitly, and you've undercut the crazy-girl advantage.
I suggest explicitly. We're simple creatures.
-- The Prolix Wag
Are you an ex of mine? Wondering if you were one of those? Don't. Wonder which.
Are you an ex of mine? Wondering if you were one of those? Don't. Wonder which.
I have dated just about all of them.
ReplyDeleteWe all have, my friend.
ReplyDeleteWe all have.
I've dated a #5. As for which one I AM, I prefer to think I'm uncategorizeable. Unless you put up an additional type: the librarian bubbling just under the surface. Then I would be categorizeable...
ReplyDeleteI might have to post a Public Burn on how intelligence is hot. That might be a good outlet for me right now since I'm painfully single. Dammit.
Really, there are no smart nice guys out there!?!?! PW, don't you have any Chicago buddies?
Wasn't aware you dated on both sides of the fence. Who was she?
ReplyDeleteI'll try and think if I know anyone worthwhile in Chicago other than yourself. I don't promise anything. It *is* the Midwest.
haha, that's for me to know and you not to know. Maureen could prolly guess it in a heartbeat, we weren't all that quiet about it since we were engaged at the time...
ReplyDeleteMe and #5. Not me and Maureen.
Aaaaaanyway.
Isn't the midwest supposed to be good pickins? Good, wholesome, corn-fed boys who read books and hold doors for girls? Although I might rather have a gent who does all that and then is a Wolverine underneath. Its a yin/yang thing...
I am interested in the gender split here..
ReplyDeleteif men can date either Bitches or Crazies, but sometimes they are both.. are men just Assholes or are they also Crazy? I feel like crazy men don't get dated for very long.
But here's my big issue: the Nice Guy misnomer... it's been my experience again and again that anybody who labels himself as a Nice Guy is already playing a big silent violin concerto of self-pity for their lonely lonely man-hood. They're secretly angry that women don't flock to them. And really they want the exact same things as the assholes, only the assholes will tell you up front. the Nice Guys pretend they don't until it inevitably slips out, followed by an apology and a wide-eyed "how'd that happen" look.
laaame.
1) Men are not crazy. Men are stupid.
ReplyDelete2) Your comment indicates to me you haven't actually dated a Nice Guy yet; we're rarer than you might think. It looks like you've had run-ins with the Passive-Aggressive Asshole subspecies. Speaking as one who knows. Because he used to be one.
Im not sure. Im would call myself a nice guy. Im married, so Im not playing the pity card to try to get women. But i do come with a whole lot more different type of baggage.
ReplyDeleteYou are the nicest Nice Guy that has ever walked the world. You are the archetype upon which all other Nice Guys have been based. And a dice bag does not count as "baggage".
ReplyDeleteAlthough thinking Yuengling is a good beer does.
Hey Pro,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to offer a quick update on the postulation that nice girls can cut out the crazies if they offer the inkling of crazy sex themselves.
Result: Thumbs up.
Although my test was performed at the Chicago ComiCon, so I dunno if that horribly skews the results.
I figure--there are a LOT of crazies there, so a nice girl like me who takes a bit of time to warm-up and show any swatches of "crazy" to a new aquaintance would go mostly unnoticed.
So I amped it up a skosh (sp?) and the results were wicked. I got more double-takes that weekend than I think I've gotten since I worked at the MD Ren Fest in a bodice...
The down side: no one there fit my criteria, so it was a lost cause.
well, no one except Frank Cho. He's damn hot.
ReplyDelete